SCHOOL FOR SCANDAL

You've probably heard that there are 17 students at a Gloucester, Massachusetts high school who are expecting babies this summer. Authorities believe the cause may be a "pregnancy pact" that these girls made last fall, in order to see who of the group could get knocked up. And apparently, one of the fathers is a twenty-four year old homeless man. Class-eh!

Maybe it's no coincidence that these teen pregnancies all happened around the time the pregnancy of now 17-year-old Jamie Lynn Spears was announced.

Now don't get me wrong: I'm all for teen pregnancy -- I mean, if you're part of a native tribe in Papau New Guinea, or if you've been given six months to live. But beyond those potential anomalies, what the hell is wrong with our retarded society??? And why do we deify White Trash "culture?" I feel like I'm gonna wake up in a few years and find that the U.S. has become a monarchy, with this guy as king:


King Tubolardo, of the United States, says: "Let them eat Big Macs!"

But seriously, not to sound like a feminazi, but how are women ever gonna gain equal footing in this world if a bunch of retarded mothers are telling their idiot children that it's okay to have babies at sixteen?????

I say, forget birth control in the drinking water, because nobody even drinks tap water anymore. How about birth control in the Big Gulp? Now there's one I bet the epidemiologists haven't thought of...