Just in time for Valentine's Day, Pamela Anderson has announced that she's finally, once and for all, eschewed her penchant for sleazy rockstars, in favor of a stable, level-headed accountant. Sources close to the actress soon revealed, however, that the accountant in question wasn't just any old pencil pusher. No, the PhD in Pammy's life turns out to be none other than chairman of the Federal Reserve, Ben S. Bernanke. Seen snuggling up to each other at library check out lines, Brooks Brother's tie departments, and in line at the bank, sources say the couple seems deeply in love. Says Anderson, "Forget Tommy, forget Kid Rock, they didn't know how to have a real conversation. They were too busy trying to make sex videos and drown little children. With Benny, he talks to me about interest rates, inflation, and he even buried his head in my boob and cried about the subprime crisis. He is so sensitive. That's what I love." She added, "And don't tell him I told you this, but sometimes he likes to dress up in my Baywatch bikini. It actually looks pretty good on him since we both have long torsos." Says Bernanke, "Pamela is so smart and yet so dirty. But that juxtaposition is what appeals to me. I'm working to get her picture on the new nickel." He then added, "I'm the envy of pretty much everyone over at the Fed. And Alan Greenspan's been sending me death threats. But I don't care. For the first time in my life, I've got a busty blond shiksa on my arm, and I'm just happy as a clam."
No comments:
Post a Comment