ROLLER GUY...

So this is "Crazy Robertson," aka John Wesley Jermyn, a homeless, schizophrenic man who's been rollerskating the streets of Beverly Hills for more than twenty years. I remember driving by him countless times on my way to and from school as a kid. He was always just "Crazy Robertson." My friends and I thought he was funny. I mean, who would wear that outfit (shorts over tights, a headscarf coupled with a baseball cap, and always all black) except a crazy person? I guess like most kids in the Beverly Hills area, or pretty much anywhere else in America, we lacked a great deal of compassion.

Now it's already been blogged about heavily, and written about widely in the Wall Street Journal and elsewhere, but I just want to speak my piece about the news event du jour: Three young Beverly Hillbillies, all in their twenties, have started a "Crazy Robertson" clothing line, which they are selling at the trendy Kitson on, where else, Robertson Blvd. Apparently they have about as much compassion for the homeless and mentally ill now as I did in 5th grade. A lot of people are outraged by what they see as an exploitative maneuver. But I don't think it's all bad. I mean, CR agreed to it, and is getting a small percentage of the profits--which he doesn't seem terribly interested in anyway. Money's really not his thing. And what kind of legacy would he have otherwise left? To be sure, the clothing line could, should, and probably will be very fleeting... but not too many people can claim a clothing line based on their unique persona--especially CR, who seems to have trouble claiming much of anything. The Pollyanna in me says, "Maybe this will spur on some sort of awareness about homelessness and schizophrenia on the desrt island of Beverly Hills, where most people still blatantly defy pretty much every dictate of reality there is." But then Pessimistanna answered, "You have got to be f-ing kidding me, Polly. Oh, and can I have a ride to Westside Pavilion? I'm going to see the Crazy Robertson biopic, 'Rollerskate the Line.'"

So I started thinking (not an altogether common occurence): One, if I had a clothing line based on myself, what would it be like? And two, why am I not
on my way to the custom t-shirt shop right now? And THREE, what is the greater societal implication of rich, trendy people spending anywhere from $33 to $75 dollars per item on a piece of clothing inspired by a mentally ill vagrant? It's not the clothing line that bothers me, but more the herd mentality that it underscores. I guess I'm a touch worried about what's next. Dar Fur coats? I Raq the House t-shirts, complete with silk screened side-by-side images of rock guitarist and car bomb explosion emblazoned underneath? If anyone with an entrepreneurial spirit is paying attention right now, I command you to STOP. Ignore everything I just said.

But en serio, I think that we pretty much have to be at the edge of an apocalypse, if homeless people are becoming icons for the rich. Know what else? It seems wealth has been worshipped so fervently and for so long, that there has to be at least a superficial attempt at a values shift coming our way, if not a really fundamental one. But hey, I'll take what I can get...