A BETTER USE FOR BURKAS?

I am always surprised by how much the U.S. prison system (and how it's run) tends to get my dander up. It's not like I'm close to anyone who's doing time, or even know anyone in the tank, for that matter. But I guess it serves as just one more reminder of what an inefficient and barbaric system we're running here. PRISON REFORM NOW, I say! DECRIMINALIZE DRUGS, I say! STOP GANG VIOLENCE, I say! But nobody really listens. Everybody just thinks I'm schizo...

Anyway, I was listening to a piece on NPR recently, about the problem of prison gangs, and how they always organize by ethnicity, and how the Blacks want to kill the Latinos, and vice versa, and then both groups want to kill the Whites, etc. Well, I have a solution for San Quentin and other prisons that are having this problem. (And, mind you, what prison isn't)?

How about requiring inmates to wear burkas? If inmates had to wear burkas outside of their cells, no one would be able to identify each other by race, or at least, it would be much harder to do so. It would help avoid the collusion that goes with prisoners being able to recognize and signal to one another. Almost seems like a no brainer, huh?

Some of you might be worried about civil liberties. Well, I don't think there's anything more liberating than NOT having to worry about being murdered in prison because you're the wrong color. There's really nothing undignified about it. If so much of the "free" female population in the world can do it, then why can't criminals serving time?

Others might raise the objection that inmates would easily be able to outsmart this system. Well, I'm sure some would, but it would make prison gang activity a hell of a lot more difficult.

You probably think I'm joking about all this, but I'm not. I know it might seem a bit extreme, but prison overcrowding and the state of our jails today -- not to mention the obscene amount of tax payer money that goes into maintaining the staggering prison population, while only creating a breeding ground for more violent offenders and never rehabilitating anyone -- is in and of itself extreme, and calls for drastic measures.