ZOROASTRIANISM OR BUST!!!

Welcome, Readers!

I decided today would be as good a day as any to talk a little bit about Zoroastrianism. Zoroastrianism is the religion based on the teachings of the prophet Zoroaster. But Zoroaster believed this dude Ahura Mazda was the One True God. Here's a likeness of him, for the family album:




As you can see, he had a lot of appendages going on, like wings, ball-like feet, and a tail. Probably not the most fuel-efficient deity. So anyway, Zoroastrians believe in that guy. Ahura Mazda... Sounds suspiciously like two different car companies to me. But as I was saying, belief in Ahura Mazda is called Mazdaism. Zoroastrianism bears a great resemblance to all the other Judeo-Christian faiths, but it got there FIRST, and thus, was a precursor to a lot of modern day religious beliefs and traditions. Probably a kinder, gentler version of all the stuff folks believe now. But still, likely somehow connected to the root of the reasons for just about all the wars in the world.

Zoroastrianism was the dominant religion in the Persian empires (559 BC to 651 AC.) It's most sacred text is the Avesta. Again, sounds more than vaguely reminiscent of a car company. And I'm thinking, when the Big Three finally go out of business, (which I can't believe hasn't happened yet--have you driven a Ford lately?) I'm gonna start a car company called Avesta. My cars are going to be extremely low emission vehicles, and you'll have to peddle them with your feet, something like this:

Now that's progress.

Anyway, I challenge all of you, Dear Readers, to either come up with a religion or a car company of your own--or perhaps, both. Both gets you about fifty-thousand gold stars.

NY MARATHON!

I just came back from running the New York Marathon. It was such an exciting, inspiring event, with so much to see... bands, costumes, and oh-so-many spectators. And (coming off a back injury) I only came in about an hour and twenty minutes behind Lance Armstrong, and about an ahour and a half ahead of Katie Holmes, so I'm pretty pleased about all that.


The course takes you through all five burroughs of New York City. You start on Staten Island, run through Brooklyn, Queens, the Eastside of Manhattan, up to the Bronx, and then end up in Central Park. Over 38,000 people raced, including some blind people and some amputees. When you see those folks going for it, it makes you feel like you have absolutely no excuse not to crank through and do well.

During the race, an older guy who'd run ten marathons and was on my heels basically the whole way, loaned me his nasty, sweaty, dirty polypropylene shirt to wear. And I was cold, so I accepted it. You already have to be slightly delusional to run this race, but while you're racing, you get even MORE delusional, and willingly put on strangers' sweaty clothes.

Check out photos here and here.

FOCUS ON THE SEVENTIES

Know who's in the above picture? If you said, Dr. James Dobson, of Focus on the Family, you'd be right. If you said Adobe Acrobat 8, you'd also be right. What do the two have to do with each other? Nothing that I know of. Though JD has probably used AA once or twice. But I accidentally uploaded the Adobe picture (I'm selling Adobe on ebay--I don't keep it in my family album) and can't seem to get rid of it here.

AAnnnyyhoo, I just wanted to show you that picture of James Dobson, because I was talking about him last night and realizing, I don't think I've ever seen his mug. Now that picture, and its soft, feathered-light background, looks like it's straight out of 1973. Does it not? Reminds me of one of those science films we watched in fourth grade where the guy with the horn rimmed glasses driving a '57 Chevy showed you how much sugar was really in a milk shake. Which begs the question, why does the Christian right seem to be stuck in an entirely outdated era, all the time??? I bet when high-waisted jeans come back in, (as they so sadly are) James Dobson will be right there with his pair, ready to go. Or maybe not... Maybe he's stuck in an era prior to the FIRST wave of high-waisted jeans. His wife probably still wears one of those full body bathing suits.

Anyway, I do think that the Fundamentalists being stuck in another era is a, forgive me, fundamental problem for us all. First off, they are trying to live as though we were all in a biblical era. In case anyone hasn't noticed from the advancements in sneaker design, we're not. Second, they are all about strict constructionist views on the Constitution and all that stuff, which is basically a microcosm of their passion for rigidly adhering to an outdated text from a long bygone era.
But anyway, it's getting a little breezy up here on this soapbox, so I'm gonna come down now. I just wanted anyone who is frightened by the direction this country has taken--and don't be fooled by not hearing that much about Huckabee or Brownback, they're waiting to pounce at the last minute--to know thine enemy, as the bible thumpers would say. And so now, if you're ever walking down the street past James Dobson (or perhaps if you see him leaving yoga class or while standing in line for your latte) you can put a face with a name. Or a pie in the face. As the case may be.

ALBINO RATFISH!

Ever hear of a ratfish? Betcha haven't. Ever hear of an albino ratfish? Bet everything I own you haven't--okay, that's not much, but still, I do enjoy having a couch, and I'm not inclined to relinquish it casually.

Anyhoo, this ratfish was found off the coast of Washington State's Whidbey Island, and, in being albino, is apparently a real rarity among sealife. Check out the full story here. "I've seen tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, of ratfish in my career, and have not seen a completely albino one before," said Wayne Palsson, a Washington Department of Fish and Wildlife biologist who studies groundfish populations in Puget Sound. Palsson's comment made me realize that ratfish are to marine biology what agents are to Hollywood. Except, I still haven't come across an albino agent in my so-called "career." My first thought was that if I do come across one, I will definitely be eager to do business with him (or her,) because maybe he'd be more human than other agents. But then, I thought better of it: Albinos get bullied a lot, so an albino agent would most certainly have an even bigger ax to grind than your normal, garden variety, Napoleon complex-having agent.

I would like to be albino for a day. I think it'd be kinda neat. For a day. As I said. Longer than that might be kinda tough. Especially if I resided near the equator. You could go broke trying to pay for all that sunscreen...

Check out some nineteenth century albinism in full effect:


Neat, huh?

WILDFIRES!

We were camping in the Santa Ynez Valley Saturday night. Winds gusted at about 40 miles per hour the entire night. In the morning, everything seemed calm and copasetic. Until: We smelled and saw a small cloud of smoke billowing nearby. Was some jerk ignoring the "no campfire" restriction? Well, you could say that: Moments later, a fire marshal--the battalion chief no less--cruised by in his fire vehicle, and asked us "how long we were planning on staying." we said, "oh, do we need to leave now?" He said, (in a tone generally reserved for sharing recipes,) "well, you don't have to, if you're prepared to leave all your stuff behind. There's a four-hundred acre fire burning below you. Surprised they haven't evacuated you by now." I've never seen five tents come down so fast. On the way out of the valley, we could see planes flying around, spraying the fire. And then of course, our way home was fraught with smoke, ash, a deeply darkened sky, and a bright red moon, as we drove through the towns adjacent to several other fires, most notably, the Canyon fire in Malibu. Here's a map which marks the more than fifteen fires that were burning yesterday in Southern Cali.

So, does all this mean the end is near? I think so. But until then, I'm going to buy stock in water.

HALLOWEENIVERSARY!

Yo Readers,
We celebrated our two year wedding anniversary this weekend in La Jolla. It was really great. But there was one obstacle to perfection--how were we supposed to go jewelry shopping with THIS guy in our way? I mean, not even diamonds are worth an encounter with a ghoul. Or a goblin, or a zombie... I hate to sound racist, but they all look alike to me!

I guess I should get used to sharing my birthday and my anniversary with Halloween, my most dreaded of holidays. Yes, I hate it. Dressing up = total waste of time. Scary costumes and horror films = scary and horrifying. Candy = bad for you. What's to love? But you know what's kinda romantic? My husband and I both share a strong dislike of that aforementioned extravaganza of candy corns and plastic vampire teeth and cobwebs. So I guess you could say, without Halloween to bring us together, there might not be any anniversary at all. Yeah, you could say it, but you'd be way off. But... you could say it. Go ahead.


Say it! Or I will send a goblin to haunt you and your entire family. Hoohoohhaaaaaahhaaa!

Let it Ride: The Craig Kelly Story

Just saw the snowboarding documentary "Let it Ride" last night, about legendary snowboarder Craig Kelly. It was a really inspiring movie. One of those things that makes you wonder what the hell you're doing with your own life. Or, at least, it made ME wonder that. Not only is the snowboarding footage (mostly shot by pro documentary-maker Jacques Russo) incredible, but the message about trying to live life for the moment, instead of wondering what's around every next corner, comes through loud and clear.

The film also explores the history of snowboarding, the rivarly between Burton and Sims, and gives a nod to snowboarding's precursor, kids' toy "The Snurfer."

But even if you're not interested in anything deeper than some sick carves on stomach-turning, totally exposed faces, you'll probably still love this movie.